Postpartum Anxiety: How Much Worrying Is Actually Normal?

There are so many worries that come along in the postpartum period. You have a whole new human who you are now responsible for keeping fed and alive. There are so many new things to worry about! But how much worrying is normal, and when should you get some help?

Some (potentially interesting) facts about anxiety in the postpartum period:

Some anxiety is coming from a hormone surge. After birth you are flooded with oxytocin which is helping you bond (hooray), but also making you more vigilant and protective. From a biological standpoint you are supposed to be anxious about your new tiny human. They are new and small and from an evolutionary perspective their survival depends on other larger humans worrying about them. Some anxiety is a good thing!

Sleep impacts mental health. When your sleep suffers you are naturally going to feel more anxious than if you were sleeping normally. Sleep deprivation amplifies anticipatory anxiety by firing up the amygdala, the part of your brain that senses danger. Sleep-deprived brains show neural activity patterns that mimic anxiety disorders.

But here's the thing: biology isn't destiny. There's a difference between protective worry and worry that takes over.

You may be thinking, okay great some anxiety is normal. When should I worry about my worrying?

Normal worry:

• Comes and goes

• Specific to real situations (baby's first fever, a diaper rash etc.)

• Manageable

• Others' reassurance helps

Postpartum anxiety:

• The worry is just... there. Like background noise you can't turn off

• Not tied to actual events, just this idea that something bad is going to to happen

• Physical symptoms (racing heart, nausea, can't sit still)

• Feeling like worries are uncontrollable

• Reassurance doesn't stick and you find yourself constantly looking up answers and that doesn't make things feel better

• You are experiencing other symptoms including depressed mood, hopelessness and irritability

• You're googling at 2am, 3am, 4am...

  If you're reading this at 2am wondering if your worry is "bad enough" to get help -- it is. You don't have to hit rock bottom. You don't need to have all the answers. You just need to be willing to say something feels wrong and I want support.

What help actually looks like:

It's not someone telling you to "just relax", "take a deep breath," or "sleep when the baby sleeps." You'd relax if you could, your body is already breathing (I promise), and sleeping when the baby sleeps can feel impossible when you are a new mom and particularly when you are anxious.

Okay, so what actually helps?

Therapy can be really helpful for anxiety in order to have a place to process your worries, and learn CBT and mindfulness techniques that can help you manage your anxiety. As a PMH-C certified perinatal therapist, I adapt these tools specifically for exhausted new parents, not generic anxiety advice.

Sometimes coordination with your OB if medication is being considered, as well as how to plan with your support network about how you can get more sleep.

If you're feeling more sad and disconnected than worried, you might be experiencing postpartum depression instead. [read about that here].

You’ve been doing this part on your own, but you don’t have to.

I offer free 15-minute consultations. No pressure, no commitment -- just a chance to see if working together feels right. [Schedule here]