How Do You Know When to Seek Help for Postpartum Depression?

Written By Robin Selig

The baby is here and something’s not quite right. The feelings are really different than what you expected. You may be feeling anxious all the time, or sad and tearful. People tell you that you have something called “the baby blues” and that sounds right, but it’s lasting a looooooong time. And this is all happening at a time when you are feeling tremendous pressure coming from a new little someone that you have been charged with keeping alive and fed. You might be thinking I should talk to someone, or frantically googling what this is all about or asking Dr. ChatGPT* what to do. You have probably been on the receiving end of a ton of information about what will happen for the baby once they are here, but one of the many things that confounds me is how little (good) information you may have been given about what will actually happen to you.** So here’s what you need to know:

What are baby blues? What’s postpartum depression?

The baby blues are the hormonal shift that comes typically between day 7 and 10 of postpartum. 80% of mothers experience this. It comes from the hormonal shifts postpartum as your estrogen and progesterone crash to pre-pregnancy levels (estrogen regulates your mood). It can cause rapid changes in mood. You may feel tearful and exhausted but also you might find yourself happy some of the time and your self-esteem is usually intact. The good news? Baby blues is temporary and after about two weeks postpartum they go away.


If you are still feeling bad after two weeks, that’s probably not the baby blues. Postpartum depression is usually characterized by feeling down most of the day, tearfulness, anxious mood and worrying, intrusive thoughts, feeling fatigued, guilt and shame, low energy, feeling worthless/poor self-esteem, poor concentration, feeling disconnected from the baby and not being interested in things that you usually like.

When should I seek help?

  • First clue: You are scrolling and reading this during a 2am feeding or when you can’t sleep.

  • You are experiencing symptoms from the list above for 2 weeks or more

  • You want to talk about this with someone who could potentially understand and you’re feeling alone.

  • You are having difficulties caring for your baby because of the symptoms.

  • You are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.

Postpartum depression is treatable. As a perinatal therapist based in Brooklyn, I work with new parents throughout New York State via telehealth. I hold the PMH-C certification; specialized training in pregnancy and postpartum mental health, because you deserve care from someone who truly understands what you're going through.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

If you're reading this at 2am, wondering if what you're feeling is "bad enough" to get help — it is. You don't need to hit rock bottom. You don't need to have all the answers. You just need to be willing to say something feels wrong and I want support.

I offer free 15-minute consultations. No pressure, no commitment, but just a chance to see if working together feels right. You can schedule here. Learn more about me here.


*Dr. ChatGPT is not a great doctor probably because she’s never been to medical school. Consult a real one please.

**PS: You matter too! This is not the Handmaid’s Tale.

Robin Selig